takut mimpi ngajar

It's 4:06 AM I am writing this post in mukena, waiting for adzan Subuh before I can finally sleep. Yes I haven't slept at all, I was enjoying my capitalistic honeymoon night or you can call friday night but it wasn't even Friday. It was Tuesday and today, even though I won't go to the office, I'll still work. So, yeah, it's okay let me feel like I have that friday night.

I brushed my teeth and took the expensive vitamin I bought from Nabilla. But you know what? I'm gonna light a cigarette before sholat Subuh 'coz I have free will. Last time I stayed up all night without sholat Subuh I dreamed of working, that must be a punishment LOL. I dreamed of teaching my neurodivergent student who always pushes my button by being annoying, asking "why" to whatever I say, like someone abusing AI.

My heart was trembling reading my old post. There I said on a Saturday night I stayed home, all day, making choreographies. 3 songs. My parents were out all day, they came home at night and I finished creating 3 freaking pieces and mom helped recording it. What a life. What an artist full of life, sparkling water lemon zest waking up every cell in all sentient beings!

My mom is now in her 70s, I'm in late 30s. They say this is the teenage phase where you keep worrying about your parents. Damn. Alright the word "teenage" I added it myself. Imma sholat now, bye.

Comments

It Has Been A Lot!

Wow, where should I start? So my comeback to dance class after a month break (sebulan aje dibahas...gimana lebih? Udah jadi buku keleus :D) had been a wild ride. Right away rehearsal for a performance and coordinating an event at the same time. Berto gave me this job from IDF, where I worked as P.I.C for Dance Writing Workshop. My girl IKAN said why am I taking the job if I am so busy? The answer is clear: I need to pay college. Ikan said she can just lend me money and I can focus on my thesis. God, bless this human that is my best friend. That's very kind and thoughtful of her. Anyway, I took the job so I was running 2 events at the same time. One in Cikini, Central Jakarta and one in SOM, South Tangerang. I became an adept Commuter Line user. I no longer mistaken peron 1 with peron 2 and silly things like that, like not knowing which gate I should enter after scanning my card to enter the peron. Duh. Duh 100x. I wasn't particularly on diet but I really didn't want to ea...

What is happiness? It sounds like a snack.

I would, like usually, open this post by saying "Things are crazy". Yes, I don't know are things really crazy or is it just me. I think it's the latter. Life appears as surprises to me. And I act like a door, opening this tunnel, closing another one. I don't feel dull, and I can't say my days have been dull for they are full with challenges. But I have been so alone. This also sounds weird. Since when that I'm not alone? I always pull myself back from any social event. I hang out alone. I guess the last time I had a good time outside the house/office/campus with another human being was the last Saturday in January, so it's a month ago. It is true that if I just ask, I will get people willing to go with me. But I am the pickiest picky pick ever because most of the times when I don't pick, I get bored with dull conversations, or a view of someone watching his/her phone like there's nothing else to see. So all this time I hang out alone. Mos...

sehat

Aku masih sakit, nih, blog.. padahal besok udah hari Kamis, harus bekerja di Pingu's. Semoga hari ini sembuh dong, yuk yaaaa...yuuk cepet sehat. Cepet mandi terus ke kampus. Lah kapan istirahatnya? Akakakaka... harus mengejar Armantono nih ik. Come on warrior!!!!!!! Ik merasa hampir gilaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh lontooooooooooooong please, please, ik mau lulus semester ini. Please sehat wal afiat, dan sexy walafeksi... (gila)

Forever Aozora

Search This Blog