Forever Aozora

without knowing the exact grade, he said i'm in his top five that sounds good but i still think  of being in his top two and i don't want to be number one..      

I went to a wedding party in the morning, and had my hair cut, also make up touch from a beauty salon (and I fell asleep during make up - silly). I stayed up untill early morning a day before. It was Jessica's past-office-friend's wedding party, yes, that from that magazine company. I chose that outfit: white long shirt, golden chinese skirt, and brown obi.

hari H: 23 Juni 2010  

i am not okay i am exhausted and lately anemic  

hai blog.. ini foto-foto selama berjuang menuju HARI BERDARAH 23 JUNI 2010 yaitu deadline tugas mingguan mata kuliah penulisan kreatif, blog.. yang aku sampe terjangkit anemia cerpen Tiga Percakapan Telepon dan Putera Mahkota. Itu aku dapat hadiah notebook (bagus banget) dari Stephanie Darda Surgeonwati demikianlah kembali ke Jakarta; memBakoel Koffie lagi (ini ditraktir Irin, katanya aku boleh pesen minuman manapun. Wiii...) widih..ketemu si Boru Sigalingging. Tancap game-game Zynga facebook mu boi..! dan ini waktu aku ke Plaza Semanggi hunting buku Max Havelaar dan Olenk (sudah H-5 atau H-4 kalau ngga salah. Hii..serem)   ini masih sempet mau rapat TA Boga (fcuk). eh aku dapat hadiah notebook juga dari kakak

haii blogoblogoblog,, [2:01] penyakit lama kambuh: ngeliatin poto orang" di pesbuk. Ya, sudah. sudah selesai. Gini lho blooooog... aku punya cerita seru deh (lebay, padahal ga seru tapi menyayat hati) AKU BERHASIL MENAKLUKKAN DEADLINE TUGAS MINGGUAN PENULISAN KREATIF. Okay, rave party, anyone? oke cukup!! (baru kumat lagi penyakitnya) Lalu blog,, kau bayangkan yaa, wajahku sampai pucat dan orang-orang bilang aku kurusan banget (yes! ini adalah hikmah, kawan!) Bagaimana tidak, hlog? (keren ngga nama barumu? engga ya? oke, sorry) Aku tidak lagi bangun malam lalu kerja sampai pagi, tapi aku JARANG TIDUR. Tidur aja nyolong-nyolong dan begitu bangun merasa bersoloh (baca: bersalah). Kemarin ada insiden lagi... kelupaan satu tugas. Bukan kelupaan sih, ga kebaca di list yang dikasih AsDos di ef-bih (jijik). Tapi itu sudah terselesaikan.. waktu lagi stress"nya aku udah bikin judul di kamu "Tuhan Tolonglah Hambamu Yang Kreatif Ini" tapi hidupku kembali ceria setelah men...

aduh mampus menahan rindu sebegini saja kok gagal apa aku terlalu kesepian sehingga menitik beratkan mengobjekkan lakon-lakonku pada dia?

dear dabelyuw, tell me if you're home and safe tell me your day tell me every single thing been crossing your mind today it is scary that sometimes i feel i only have you (which is totally lie)

he called me sweetiepie he called me bella  

aku sungguh sedang menikmati masa ini: sendiri (bukannya memang aku tidak pernah merasa berdua walau sedang punya pacar?) dan jika sekarang-sekarang ini aku melamunkan memiliki pacar, yang kulamunkan bukan lagi dekap hangat atau bahu untuk bersandar. sama sekali bukan. bagiku sekrang -- hal-hal itu hanya akan jadi bonus. aku terpanggil hasrat untuk merawat! menakjubkan! seorang keisha aozora, yang maunya cuma senang-senang sekarang -- entah kerasukan setan atau tidak, baru saja, beberapa menit kemudian, berkelebat di pikiran demikian: "aku menerima, aku sudah dewasa, aku bukan gadis kecil umur tiga -- seperti yang selalu kukhayalkan selama 21 tahun kurang sedikit," "Aku bukan anak kecil, aku bisa mengontrol emosiku," "Aku tau aku depresif, tapi aku sudah belajar menanganinya. Tak jadi masalah jika suamiku kelak tak mengerti rasanya depresi sama sekali," "Dan yang pasti, aku ingin sekali berhenti menyalahkan mereka (laki-laki) karena ayahku or...

keisha_xiaotian: good morning to you autistic_f0etus: good morning autistic_f0etus: sorry i wasnt there yetserday autistic_f0etus: now i have 10 minutes autistic_f0etus: i overslept, will be late for work keisha_xiaotian: heeyy that's okay autistic_f0etus: how are you today? keisha_xiaotian: i'm fine, just flu a bit because it was raining yesterday and I didn't have umbrella keisha_xiaotian: but fine, really keisha_xiaotian: how are you autistic_f0etus: really? that's good to hear (excpet for the flu) autistic_f0etus: exhausted autistic_f0etus: my body starts to deterioate keisha_xiaotian: *frown* autistic_f0etus: i will do a siesta this afternoon keisha_xiaotian: what is siesta autistic_f0etus: afternoon nap keisha_xiaotian: yes you have to keisha_xiaotian: *hug* autistic_f0etus: i dont want to go to work, i want to go back to bed autistic_f0etus: thanks keisha_xiaotian: call keisha_xiaotian: call them saying you can't go keisha_xiaotian: jus...

aduh blog.. bmg lagi deh: bayi mau gila. TA Boga ganti sinopsis lagi. Tidak masuk akal mereka berencana syuting minggu depan (karena hari ini sudah hari minggu, maka kata 'minggu depan' terdengar seperti 'besok' atau 'lusa'); sementara tugas-tugas mas seno is driving me crazy. aku udah tidur tadi, 3 setengah jam lumayan kan... tp skrg ttp ga enak badan ("-.-) Demam enggak, tapi rasanya kepala berat, trus capeeek... banget kayak abis nguli i'm so fuckin tired lumayan lagu-lagunya Damien Rice bikin  aku ngerasa ada temennya sesama orang yang capeeeeekk...exhausted. A stick, a stone, it's the end of the road It's the rest of a stump, it's a little alone It's a sliver of glass, it is life, it's the sun It is night, it is death, it's a trap, it's a gun The oak when it blooms, a fox in the brush A knot in the wood, the song of a thrush The wood of the wind, a cliff, a fall A scratch, a lump, it is nothing at all  ...

I cook for friends when all else fails

#1. I open your facebook page like, 10 times a day #2. I cried last night. I felt so sad or having no one "here-and-now" after that super-horrible nightmare&painful chest pain -- mixed with a gentle warm touch dream -- that pressed my chest hard in the end of the dream. I am always alone

you know you love keisha you know she loves you more she is naive and sweet she gives you full-trust, and she has never lost her passion to take care of you

haii blog, monday morning here. kemarin si ayah ngasih tikar di teras (teras indoor tempat aku merokok itu lho). dan hanya dengan satu tikar, teras itu berubah seperti personal space for me (ya kalo Lian atau temen-temennya kakak yang lain dateng ya ngga personal space sih), but.. I have a plan, to decorate it! yaay <3 sungguh deh, kemarin sunday morning tu asik.. nulis essay di teras..tidur-tiduran di situ dengan cahaya matahari menembus blinder yang ditutup setengah.. asiiik  hmm, gimana ya, langkah-langkah mendekor: pindahin kardus-kardus oxygen ke belakang dapur rapihkan laci dan kolong meja dari barang-barang ngga penting bersihkan bingkai jendela dari debu tikar digulung, sapu dan pel lantai print foto-foto yang keren... siap bikin kolase dinding Yaayy..!

Honey, do stop waiting for him in vain. he is out having drink with his loveliest ex.  

isn't it ironic  when you confess to your crush you're afraid he would fall in love with one of the women he's meeting and he says he falls in love every five minute isn't it ironic  when you delay something you have to do, waiting him cooking but then he cancelled the plan to eat with you because his ex asked him out for some beers it is ironic and you can laugh at it laughing at ironic things happen to you makes you feel better and that way you learn to grin at life "why so serious?"