Forever Aozora

autistic_f0etus: hey sweetie. you ill? autistic_f0etus: i have a very bad connection keisha_xiaotian: that's okay, you're stealing  yes it has been 3 days, I thought just sleeping for a day would heal autistic_f0etus: do you feel better? keisha_xiaotian: no autistic_f0etus: :(( keisha_xiaotian: the depression cycle has ended though, thank you autistic_f0etus: i'm sorry to hear that autistic_f0etus: GOOOOOD! autistic_f0etus: >:D< autistic_f0etus: wow! it's 8 already! keisha_xiaotian: what? autistic_f0etus: 20 o'clock autistic_f0etus: i didn't realise keisha_xiaotian: are you going? how is your band? I read one post in your status without knowing the meaning autistic_f0etus: it means we have a... don't know the english word. a watercontainer, like in a kitchen autistic_f0etus: because we don't have one in our fabulous place keisha_xiaotian: OMG, I thought you played live somewhere autistic_f0etus: i'm not going, but i should start to cook soon au...

sepertinya kemarin sore (Minggu 16 Mei 2010) siklus itu berakhir. Sama seperti menstruasi, ia punya awal dan akhir. aku hidup dengan siklus ini, hanya baru menyadarinya. akhirnya menyadari, karena yang terakhir ini parah sekali: aku tidak bisa tidur selama empat setengah hari! aku berbaring dan menutup mata, ya, tapi tidak ketiduran sama sekali.

sunday night to monday morning, May 9 to May 10 2010 bad sleep. I couldn't sleep for hours eventhough I was sleepy, and then nightmare came to pull me down, had a fight, I won (if not I wouldn't be writing here right now). I went to bed at 11:50 P.M and at 01:30 I was already outside the room because of the nightmare.  After drinking water, several minutes later I came back to bed. I got bad atshma attack. But I pretended like I was okay because Jessica was in the same bed with me. That atshma fucking hurt that it continued in my dream. Because of that atshma attack, at 5 A.M I already woke up. My dream had a sign of big luck anyway. It has been a long time since I swim in my dream. Yes I swam, in a hotel swimming pool. Me, Irin, Nindi, some guys, Wannes were comittees of a congres. I had two rings: blue and dark purple (this one is very cool), my old cell phone (that Gempar broke), and a purple wallet, bright purple, small wallet. I swam alone and that was fun. I saw Irin ju...

pagi ini aku bangun jam setengah 5 pagi. damn. telat, padahal pasang alarm jam 1 pagi. pasti abis ini bokap nyokap bangun. hal itu sangat benar.. maka saya pun tidak membuka laptop. saya buka kulkas ambil apel. Dalam rangka menguruskan badan, aku mulai makan satu apel setiap pagi sebelum makan APAPUN. Efeknya terasa, aku jadi ngga pengen makan bahkan sampai berjam-jam setelah makan apel. Tapi tetep aja ik suka bandel, walaupun ngga laper, tapi liat nasi gorengnya Ayah yang yummy-mantap, ya aku sikat juga (walaupun tetep jarak dengan makan apel minimal setengah jam). Lalu tidak lama kemudian daddy and mommy sudah CABS. Kira-kira jam 7:30 Hmm..indahnya pagi. Mulailah ik membuka blog berniat menulis (tapi ga nulis-nulis sampe setengah 12 siang). Ik chattingan sama mrbirdman33 and it was seru banget, tumben doi lucu, walaupun lama kelamaan garink-crispy juga. But morning was still good... untill I iseng buka facebook murid ik yang kelas 1 SMP (dan selalu ik kira 3 SMP) itu. Dan ik iseng bu...

kenapa ya aku sekarang jadi pendiam? tepatnya sejak pindah ke Jakarta tahun 2006. pause. aku mau bilang: "I hate tetangga sebelah". Kalo ada "Man of Knowledge", tonggo sebelah omah iki "Man of Ndak Ono Aturan". Dia tuh kalo dateng (pake mobil), baklakson kayak cuma dia yang tinggal di sektor ini. Padahal ya mbo nyadar diri, rumah dempet-dempet tetangga batuk aja kedengaran kok yo nglaksooon...to suu'..... (shushu = om om cina) Ya sudah. lanjut ya. Mungkin aku tidak berubah menjadi pendiam, cuma lagi males ngomong (males ngomong selama 4 tahun). Aku nyerocos kok kadang-kadang kalo ketemu temen ngobrol yang asik (siapa, contohnya? bahkan sama temen baikku a.k.a Nona Galau saja aku dibilang 'pendiam'). Bahkan teman-teman lama di Malang (Nana, Tina) juga bilang aku jadi lebih pendiam sekarang. Ya sudahlah mau dikapakno maneh? (singing: "Where'd You Go", dedicated to my kecerawakan). Aku cuma nyerocos kalo topiknya outstanding. Ta...