Forever Aozora

pernah diajarkan padaku, mungkin, cara menyihir tajam jadi jarum, lelap jadi tidur. ya, pasti pernah.

Ada negara yang mulai resah karena mayoritas penduduknya obesitas Ada negara yang penduduknya sekarat semua karena kelaparan Ada kelompok jenius yang merencanakan depopulasi penduduk bumi Ada anak ibukota melamum di atas odong-odong Kamu bisa apa? Ibuku mengajarkanku untuk berprasangka baik pada Tuhan Saat aku kanak-kanak, komik Siksa Api Neraka sangat populer dan disewakan dengan harga murah di perpustakaan. Tom&Jerry. Paman Gober. Aku cari pegangan. Oh Tuhan, aku kedinginan dalam sujud saat "Asshalatu khoiru minannaum"

Dari meja komputer di teras, jalan ke dalam rumah. Me: "Aku kok masih mau nangis ya tiap lihat foto murid-muridku di Pingu" Berharap mendengar respon dari Mama, tapi yang menjawab Ayah: Dad: "Nggak usah kamu, Ayah aja yang ngga berkecimpung sedih kok."

When I was 16, I guided a sacred walk of catholic students in my high school. The event took place in Jogja. Small group of people. At night I walked alone along Malioboro, after the sacred walk in the afternoon. And I saw this shirt, hanging in one of the street vendors. I bought it quickly without thinking. I like everything about that shirt, and I didn't even drink. And that all-size shirt fitted me tight. I was fat. Life moves on. I did dieting and all (not because of that shirt :p) I was wearing that shirt when I was working as doorman in my school's event, It caught every eye 'cause on catholic high school, you know, I was the only girl who had the gut to wear such a message "Vodka. Connecting People.", even if other girls had that shirt. And a handsome senior asked how much I value. That sucks but I smiled. "You can go fuck your self" - smile. Then I graduated and moved alone to Jakarta. People in my campus recognized me from this shi...

looks like my rented room when I was in first years of college   back at that day, on the floor of my room you could find: Film History, 'How To Read A Movie', 'Film Art' Book Pictures when I was in highschool Diary books (I have many) Pocket Cam (I know.. I shouldn't put it on the floor) Pencils (They made me slipped often and I was angry at them for being there) Dirty plate Dirty clothes Radio Weight scale Posters And writing this just took me there. I still remember what's inside my wardrobe, what I wrote on the paper glued behind the mirror. That I should pray five times a day. Raspberry Vodka bottle I hid behind my dresses. Fine. I was that... messy, loner, self-service girl.

  i do. i win.

Oct 16 has passed. I wet the stage, yelled out all the impossibilities I broke Attacked the limit,  The contemporary dance has just flown me away The sweat, every echo in the air my finger made, it was all about

I know it sounds delusional but.. I first learned that choreo thinking of you,  directing every movement to my thoughts of you so, tomorrow and then on sunday, let's get it finished. On the stage in front of hundreds of people, baby, it will be... about you  

today after work I went straight to G House, last rehearsal there. Danced twice , hiphop at the 4th and contemporary at the 27th. Miss Gigi gave feedback. She said to me today I am not focused enough, but I danced better than before. To hear this from such a great choreographer like her... is something big for me :) 

god gives chances

Bloggie,  Yesterday was my first day working in my new office. Arrived, I was asked to wait at the lobby and there I made friend with a woman who works as content writer just like me. It was her first day too. She is chinese, thin, mature, and beautiful. Her name is Diana. She quickly found me as an animated person. She even pinched me OMG hahaha. So I told her to make it more normal, I let her know that I worked with little kids.

Mimpiku malam ini indah. Aku tidak mimpi horror lagi. Tidur jam 11 dan mungkin baru tertidur jam 11 lebih 20 menit, aku mimpi terpilih untuk dance crew itu, dan yg memilih itu si idola ik.. hahaha. Aku cuma terpilih berdua dengan Jegerejes alias Zerika. Lagunya gaya Bronx gitu, gerakannya campuran vogue dan krump. Anjrot, eh Alhamdulillah indah banget tuh mimpi. Tapi latihannya dong bo.. di Slipi..hahaha di gedung bertingkat... tempat latihan kami di lantai 20. Slipi? Lt.20? Itu sih kantor baru gueee.. Alam bawah sadar emang jago mix and match deh. Udah ya saya siap-siap berangkat. Hari pertama nih!

so this is it...   You'll fill your Pingu days without me   I'll fill my days without your baby laughs and cute random expressions   you should know, it's heartbreaking to be apart from you   I found back my world that was lost, when I am around you   I am your teacher in the class, but you know very well, when no one else around, I'm just your little friend           Thank you for the fun time we had For the love you sprayed to my lungs You all showed me how to fall in love again I found me in your eyes, I'll bring your smile, your laugh, all the kindness you showed -- wherever I go. THANK YOU