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have that

 I also have that. fluttering heartbeat uneasiness in my chest unexplainable worries, 

all the pain you shared I've had them worse. but I received no help. 

I swallowed and man them up. man-er than a man harder than a dick. 

I didn't talk about it because parental crimes will send you to hell even though you're the victim, one can tell. 

rejection, abandonment

don't come to me I can't help. I won't listen I'm not interested. I wish you well but I hate it that you'll feel better, you'll feel safe and heard. 

my past child doesn't want healing

she wants revenge

I give her prayers but she is deaf since birth. 

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