So yeah, I turned 28. Too bad I didn't have time to write on or before my birthday like I did last year. Last year I wrote "27 Things On Life". If I am now about to write "28 Things On Life", my number 1 would be:
1. I totally forgot to wear bra to work today.
But I'm not gonna write about that. I want to write you what I have learned since my 27th birthday. I'm not trying to be preachy...OMG please don't be preachy... OMG please just start writing.
. depression.
Depression is not continuously feeling sad -- anymore. It is also not an urge to self-harm -- anymore. What I experienced this year is, waking up, and not wanting to do anything. Waking up and doesn't want to meet anyone. Unable to explain what I feel. This is depression. Now it eases me to write it down, that I finally took a distance from my depression and able to tell about it in a descriptive way. I don't feel sorry for myself.
Depression was looking at people telling you to get things done but you hear nothing. Depression was when your leadership skill started being questioned big time because you start to be flaky little piece of paper who can't do anything. Depressed people are people who used to care a whole lot, who gave a lot of fuck. Who worked too much, who gave herself to things and people. I still could fake it in front of children. I could fake it a whole lot. I could be the most cheerful one in the room with depression. That's scary, and that's because I don't believe anyone wanna help. I said, "Fuck everyone."
I don't blame myself for having this. I don't have depression. I prefer to say I battle it. Because it hits me, but I always hit back. Battle on.
. self help .
The first aid is to let loose. Listen to music. Let the beat speaks for you when you can't speak. Cry if you need. Lose it. Spend time with yourself. Don't hate yourself. Depression doesn't define you. Especially when you already have it for years, you should learn better -- it is not you. Don't blame yourself. Spend time alone somewhere nice. Do something that you love and do it a lot. Dance saves me and I can always turn to it.
1. I totally forgot to wear bra to work today.
But I'm not gonna write about that. I want to write you what I have learned since my 27th birthday. I'm not trying to be preachy...OMG please don't be preachy... OMG please just start writing.
. depression.
Depression is not continuously feeling sad -- anymore. It is also not an urge to self-harm -- anymore. What I experienced this year is, waking up, and not wanting to do anything. Waking up and doesn't want to meet anyone. Unable to explain what I feel. This is depression. Now it eases me to write it down, that I finally took a distance from my depression and able to tell about it in a descriptive way. I don't feel sorry for myself.
Depression was looking at people telling you to get things done but you hear nothing. Depression was when your leadership skill started being questioned big time because you start to be flaky little piece of paper who can't do anything. Depressed people are people who used to care a whole lot, who gave a lot of fuck. Who worked too much, who gave herself to things and people. I still could fake it in front of children. I could fake it a whole lot. I could be the most cheerful one in the room with depression. That's scary, and that's because I don't believe anyone wanna help. I said, "Fuck everyone."
I don't blame myself for having this. I don't have depression. I prefer to say I battle it. Because it hits me, but I always hit back. Battle on.
. self help .
The first aid is to let loose. Listen to music. Let the beat speaks for you when you can't speak. Cry if you need. Lose it. Spend time with yourself. Don't hate yourself. Depression doesn't define you. Especially when you already have it for years, you should learn better -- it is not you. Don't blame yourself. Spend time alone somewhere nice. Do something that you love and do it a lot. Dance saves me and I can always turn to it.
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