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The Eyes of Love

Yesterday I had appointment with one of the most negative-thinking people I've known my entire life. We have been friends for a long time although I have to admit when we started living separately far it was quite a relief.
As always, meeting her always set me up for a mental preparation since I know I was going to hear bad stories and unnecessary heart-breaks that are just downright stupid. But the night before, I read a saying that encourages us to see people from the eye of love. You will see the brightness and darkness in a person, but you will not judge, you will not see her from your perspective. I think, wow, that's great, so I give it a try.
Since years ago, I always wonder why don't she enjoy this life, why don't she smile from her heart and sustain that smile for a while, for her own peace? But that afternoon I waited for her in an underground food depot and there she came with her piercing eyes and frown -- I don't know why she likes that facial expression as a greeting. I was eating my noodle and offered her to order. Jakarta traffic could starve you even when you already ate at home.

I can't describe how it was, but it succeed. I saw her as a person, not as a reflection how I think she should be. I saw her like an objective spectator, not as someone who knows too many stories of her life, but I gave my full presence and I was seeing through the eyes of love. I noticed how relaxed she feels in my company, and she was always like that. She likes me the most even if I did not like her.

What baffled me, maybe because I always tried to please my friend, but they still demand too much. What if I stop that service and just do what I know I wanna do? Will they hate me? Will they leave me with hatred and bad memory? I don't know, but this one friend doesn't. i just realized it after years of friendship, let's say 10 years! Most of my friendship problem is people just are not introvert like me. They like me and they want to be around me all the time, everyday. They don't understand how important it is for me to be alone sometimes. Writing this tickles me, realizing how funny it is actually, but I always take it heavy.

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