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semuamuamuanya yang jadi acara

Setelah tampil di acara tahunan komunitas O2 Dance dan melalui fase sakit-sambil-latihan-dan sambil bekerja yang membuat kewalahan, secara spontan beberapa hari sebelum performance aku browsing tiket pesawat ke Malang dan langsung minta izin Mama untuk bayar pakai kartu kredit nya, nanti diganti. Ke-spontan an itu dibalas spontan dengan Mama, yang kukira akan bertanya, tapi malah memberi saran:
"Dek, kalau lagi punya uang ke Phuket sana lho... paling ya dua-tiga juta. Ngapain kok Malang.."

Wah, senangnya. Mamaku berjiwa petualang. Sebelum menceritakan tentang perjalanan ke Malang, aku ingin mengenang hardship pada saat pulang dari Jogja dan harus langsung latihan dan kerja, tentunya.

November 20, 2012
Kei Sha 12:57 AM
Wan, I feel worse tonight. I guess I'll go to hospital again tomorrow morning

Wanda 2:29 PM
Ooooh damn! Let me know how you are now! Take care, I'm here. Hug X

Kei Sha 10:35 PM
hug
my blood pressure dropped quite much, heavy breathing. Doctor said my respiratory infection is healing so there should be no breathing problem anymore, so she suspects it's asthma acting up. I feel like having fever but my temperature is normal. My antibiotics is already finished, she gave me another pill and confirmed that the awful dizziness was not caused by the medication. I have to do CT scan next week. I honestly want to pause the world (of mine) I wanna rest, please, wait. I dont feel well at all.
Thanks for being there. hug again.

and bla bla bla bla, hingga akhirnya inilah titik puncak dari kegilaan oktober-november tahun ini:

November 22, 2012
Kei Sha
I'm trapped in a situation, Wan. I came back from Jogja and ill. I had been absent from so many practices so it was time to continue practicing. I didn't know I'm still ill until today. Performance is in 2 weeks from now. Nobody cares, Wan. Beside performance, there are my 3 jobs. I also quit from the choreographers group which arrange meeting once a week. When I told them I quit, one of them just texted "I knew you would say that" and nobody asked why, what happen. Who am I to be tolerated, or to be given longer time to recover because I don't recover as fast as people do. Damn I wanna cry while writing this. i just finished practicing and I was in the point where I almost wave a hand of giving up because I couldnt catch my breath. But I continued until finished because I imagined it was on the stage. My nose was cold, my whole body cold, no sweat just running breath. hug.

dan inilah balasan pesan dari si Wanda Hamidah (nama samaran) yang bikin semangat naik:
  
November 22 6:38pm
 Wanda

  • This sounds very hard. I know you work hard and long, pushing your limits to get places. Why other people don't see that is a mystery to me.
    All I can say is: keep on working hard, live for a reason, but at the same time take care of your body and your mind. And don't care about what other people think. You know who you are and what you can do. That's the most important. Keep up the good work! Be hardcore to yourself! I know you can do it. You have my repect. Love.





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