hari kemarin, hari ini (PART II)

Miss Selvi is always friendly. After congratulating me, she also asked where the wedding took place. Shortly, she asked some caring questions before she ended the call. I felt so uneasy, unfocus of course. My eyes wandered everywhere, like a hipnotized person hahaha even few people around me looked at me as if they noticed something wrong. SAM TING WONG!

Arrived at Boxmart, I looked confused in front of the shelves and the cashier man stared at me. WTF. I took a Nescafe Original from the fridge and sat alone, facing a girl talking with her friend. She kept eating GOOD TIME Cookies, looking so relaxed in her loose jacket. Waiting for Dina, I opened the book I brought from home: "Getting Things Done", this is Uncle (R.I.P) Iwan Ail's book, now my sister's but she just leaves it there, never read it so I took it. Opened the paper I wrote (answering the book) about what I want to have/experience. I also felt useless doing that answering. The big screen TV also distracted me much. Oh Em Gee. not good. not good. I felt like a zombiiiieee, or maybe a cave man. Then I heard that friendly voice calling my name, but not in high tone like she used to sound. Dina came. She looked fine with black eyeshadow. The rest is her common-wears: cardigan, t-shirt, sneakers, glasses. She commented on my silver bag. She didn't comment on my eyeshadow and bracelet. Haaa not important!

It was 17:00 we didn't start with friendly starting topics.. straight to "What happened with you?" She told me what happened, showed me Blackberry Messages between her and Cakti. I took no big fuss. I straight saying that I NEED HER. This project desperately needs her and if communicating with the director is too annoying for her, let's just communicate with me about all administration and even technical stuffs. My heart hurts. Just now.

Comments

It Has Been A Lot!

Wow, where should I start? So my comeback to dance class after a month break (sebulan aje dibahas...gimana lebih? Udah jadi buku keleus :D) had been a wild ride. Right away rehearsal for a performance and coordinating an event at the same time. Berto gave me this job from IDF, where I worked as P.I.C for Dance Writing Workshop. My girl IKAN said why am I taking the job if I am so busy? The answer is clear: I need to pay college. Ikan said she can just lend me money and I can focus on my thesis. God, bless this human that is my best friend. That's very kind and thoughtful of her. Anyway, I took the job so I was running 2 events at the same time. One in Cikini, Central Jakarta and one in SOM, South Tangerang. I became an adept Commuter Line user. I no longer mistaken peron 1 with peron 2 and silly things like that, like not knowing which gate I should enter after scanning my card to enter the peron. Duh. Duh 100x. I wasn't particularly on diet but I really didn't want to ea...

What is happiness? It sounds like a snack.

I would, like usually, open this post by saying "Things are crazy". Yes, I don't know are things really crazy or is it just me. I think it's the latter. Life appears as surprises to me. And I act like a door, opening this tunnel, closing another one. I don't feel dull, and I can't say my days have been dull for they are full with challenges. But I have been so alone. This also sounds weird. Since when that I'm not alone? I always pull myself back from any social event. I hang out alone. I guess the last time I had a good time outside the house/office/campus with another human being was the last Saturday in January, so it's a month ago. It is true that if I just ask, I will get people willing to go with me. But I am the pickiest picky pick ever because most of the times when I don't pick, I get bored with dull conversations, or a view of someone watching his/her phone like there's nothing else to see. So all this time I hang out alone. Mos...

yang hilang dan jadi debu

ada sesuatu yang diam-diam kupercaya walau ia hilang ditelan bisingnya Jakarta: Islam ada cara hidup yang sederhana, menawarkan kesadaran untuk mampu mengendalikan kecepatan, dengan disiplin lima kali dalam sehari, dan tidak lebih lama dari basa-basi ada cara bertutur yang tegas dan disetujui tubuh, istighfar membuatku sadar, bahwa yang sakit bisa pulih tasbih menunduk-daguku, bahwa seniman itu sebuah entitas hamdalah hangatkan bahuku, ada yang Maha kendali di atas kendaliku

Forever Aozora

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